Earphones in, I turn the volume up real loud
hoping to drown the nauseous background chatter.
I’ve heard this lecture many times before,
A recurring theme…the words no longer matter.
Immersing myself in the lyrical melody,
I allow imagination to scatter.
Shifting my attention to the euphony,
I refuse to let composure shatter.
Out of my peripheral vision, I see
the outrageous gestures of a mime
But the act no longer moves me, I deny
participation in her psycho-paradigm.
I push the decibels higher, until music
consumes all thoughts and brings serenity.
I refuse to entertain the face of sorrow
or endure the voice of irrationality.
The whimsical world wraps its wonders around me
I eagerly escape to the land of solitude
Where I am the master of destiny
And emancipate myself from servitude.
For too long I have waited,
Held my breath and debated.
My mind is wary but my body rebels
As I surrender to Temptation’s spell.
Every time Fate deals me a card,
I fall too easily and far too hard.
When I’m with you, times ceases in its track;
Each touch brings me closer to heart attack.
I love the way my hand fits so perfectly
in yours, and the way our lips agree.
I love the look you get in your eyes
when the layers come off and I’m the prize.
Desperately doing my best to please,
I live for beautiful moments like these.
Drawn like moths to a dancing flame –
if I get injured, I’m to blame.
I know I shouldn’t, I know that it’s wrong;
But still, I get the feeling we belong.
Would it be unfair, would it be a crime
To want you in this little heart of mine?
Dark murderous clouds loom over my head,
I walk on roads where angels fear to tread.
Enveloped in a mist of midnight chill
The night’s just begun; my breath I hold still.
I look to the ageless Nox and bemuse
This sordid misfortune and its abuse.
The cards are dealt, my fortune is at war;
What I used to take for granted, no more.
Fingers brush against the broken compass.
Heart beats in panic, I cannot dismiss
The suffocating feeling of being
Lost. My courage is rapidly fleeing.
Introspectively I pause, and wonder
If there will be rainbows post the thunder.
When Optimism is diffused and Life is a mess
When the Spirit is dampened and the Soul is in distress
When Night conspires to keep Dawn out of reach
There will be no more vacations on the beach.
Rising bubbles of Suffocation in my chest
Up and down a rollercoaster nest
I try to seize Control – Control eludes me
Instead, it precipitates Insecurity.
Bad things happen, it is pointless to dwell
But Logic does not dictate what the Heart compels
This feeling of Sadness strongly overwhelms
If only I could escape to a magical realm
Where Reality is not compounded with Regret
Where the scales don’t tip to the side of Debt
Where I can see my reflection and smile
And for once, be happy, just for a little while.
The clock ticks as grief binds with thy despair
Amongst the shadows, scattered breaths hold still
Waiting patiently for Death to declare
A cease to this quivering midnight chill.
Through the passing of time, memories will fade
Sharp stabbings of pain will dull to an ache
The future is fixed, Destiny is made
What’s dead, is dead; its Death cannot awake.
So wipe the sorrow running down your face
Like tears of acid – feeding off your soul
Robbing you of Love’s eternal embrace
Replacing your heart with a blackened hole.
Bells in heaven sound, angels are singing;
Preparing for your eternal dreaming.
There was a poetry competition a while back…the theme was The Elephant in the Room…thought I’d share my entry (Couldn’t post it back then cuz it was against competition rules or somefink)
(a BIG thanks to Mother and maddie for their critiques)
every night i lie in bed. awake…
heart, heavy in my chest –
i wait and wait for Him, the Snake,
to creep beneath my dress.
will He come tonight? is He late?
or has He simply forgotten?
i curl up in a ball of hate
and try to wish away His sin.
i am but a little girl
of eight, ten and fourteen;
trapped in this nightmare world,
why must Daddy be so mean?
He tells me He loves me. me!
but why is love this painful?
He gives me His guarantee,
then uses me like a tool.
“It will be our little secret. Shh…
“Don’t let Mommy know.”
His fingers trail across my flesh,
and i silently scream, “No, Daddy! No!”
the tears well up, i weep in despair:
“Stop doing this, Daddy! Daddy, please let go.”
but He doesn’t hear and He doesn’t care.
He keeps on delivering blow by blow.
unable to see, my vision is blurred;
paralysed by fear, i freeze still.
blink once, twice, and upon the third,
i breathe in this midnight chill.