New Poem

For too long I have waited,
Held my breath and debated.
My mind is wary but my body rebels
As I surrender to Temptation’s spell.

Every time Fate deals me a card,
I fall too easily and far too hard.
When I’m with you, times ceases in its track;
Each touch brings me closer to heart attack.

I love the way my hand fits so perfectly
in yours, and the way our lips agree.
I love the look you get in your eyes
when the layers come off and I’m the prize.

Desperately doing my best to please,
I live for beautiful moments like these.
Drawn like moths to a dancing flame –
if I get injured, I’m to blame.

I know I shouldn’t, I know that it’s wrong;
But still, I get the feeling we belong.
Would it be unfair, would it be a crime
To want you in this little heart of mine?

Wandering Warrior

Dark murderous clouds loom over my head,
I walk on roads where angels fear to tread.
Enveloped in a mist of midnight chill
The night’s just begun; my breath I hold still.

I look to the ageless Nox and bemuse
This sordid misfortune and its abuse.
The cards are dealt, my fortune is at war;
What I used to take for granted, no more.

Fingers brush against the broken compass.
Heart beats in panic, I cannot dismiss
The suffocating feeling of being
Lost. My courage is rapidly fleeing.

Introspectively I pause, and wonder
If there will be rainbows post the thunder.

Core Skills 2 – Sports Evening

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to finish documenting the awesomeness that was CS II; oh well, better late than never :)

Four days into our amazing adventure and more people have started showing signs of a sore throat and a runny nose. I managed to procure some meds and was determined to tough it our despite the fact that my body desperately craved detox and rest. Lectures finished early and we were given the afternoon to ourselves. What a treat!

Seeing as it was a ‘sport’ themed day, two lovely ladies from the Cape Town office (Jess and Natalie) thought it would be rad to make us t-shirts. They ran the whole thing from start to finish; from buying and painting the shirts to handing them out at breakfast… Their efforts got them the Chairman’s Values award and it was absolutely well deserved. We got to piggy-back on their creativeness and looked dashing in our matching EY shirts ;)

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After lunch, everyone made their way to Fields of Legend, where the organisers have set up various activities, from obstacle courses to human foosball. Oh, and the winning team from the previous two days’ games got to go on a much desired helicopter flip. I was a little green with envy :p

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There was also a photobooth set up at the dinner venue. Being a sucker for poses, I just *had* to queue for the snap shots.

P.S. Did I mention I also went on a Big Five game drive? ;)

Core Skills 2 – African Night

Day three started with a sore throat and a slight feeling of nausea. The situation was worsened by the fact that training began at 7:30am and ran until 7pm! You see, at home, I’m the kind of person who adheres to a strict “10 pm bedtime” rule; when I deviate from it two days in a row, my body departs from its normal course and starts behaving irrationally. Still, I managed to soldier on. In fact, my group (which we aptly named “Buckwild”) did so well in the day’s activities that we came in third. :D

Gladiators… Are you ready???!!!

Probably the most hilarious activity of them all. There was this one dude (whom shall not be named) that:

1) took forever to get on the thing, and

2) when he eventually steadied himself and took the first shot, he immediately lost his balance and fell flat on his face, without his opponent having to do anything at all.

Major fail. (Imagine Neville Longbottom being hit with the Stupify curse.)

Ewwww, sorry, I’m lactose intolerant.

This one was called “Disgusting Dunking”. Why? Because we had to dunk our heads in a bucket of SOUR MILK, grab an apple with our teeth then race to the other side and drop the apple in a bucket of flour.

Some girl dropped more than just her apple. She (apparently) also chundered right into the flour bucket. Nice. Luckily the race only required four brave volunteers, so I was spared from having to do any disgusting dunking. Whew!

Brains over Braun

I couldn’t remember what this game was called, but it was a mix of Tic-Tac-Toe and Checkers (I think?). The important thing to know is that my group won against our opponents. :P

Other activities for that day included paintball shooting, 30 Seconds, and soccer (which I totally sucked). We managed to finish all six, so it was definitely an improvement on the previous day.

Beautiful Decor

 

By the time dinner rolled around, I was feeling quite ill. I didn’t even change into my traditional outfit which I brought especially for this occasion. I wasn’t even in the mood for face painting :(

Nevertheless, I tried to enjoy the sheer beauty of the venue. And just when I thought the food couldn’t get any better, it did. It was probably the best night in terms of deliciousness, and I sampled as much of everything as I could stomach.

On top of the fantastic table display, the array of multi-coloured wonders, and copious amounts of scrumptious food, there were performances by traditional Africans which were simply amazing.

Poitjies

:O ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An authentic, artistic, alluring, African

 

Core Skills 2 – The Shabeen

Day two started with an early 6am wake up call. Bianca and I leisurely made our way to the breakfast tent. I immediately began piling my plate with food: eggs, bacon, sausages, STEAK, grilled tomatoes, croissant, fruits… It’s funny how I would rather shift into a state of disutility than forgo the free food.

Training commenced at 8am sharp. I won’t bore you with the details but I just need to highlight a couple of things:

1. They put Akon’s “Oh Africa” song on loop; which, in my opinion, was not something that withstood repetition.

2. We received cute little invitations to the night’s function. (Aww) It was a key ring with a squishy hat attached that could be used as a stress-ball. I thought it was pretty cool.

After lunch, we were tasked with some team building exercises. The prize for the winning team was a helicopter flip, so the stakes were veritably high. My team’s coordination and communication were dreadful, and so we only managed to do half the activities. We still had immense fun though.

Wes on the bike – riding blind-folded was NOT easy. In fact, one couple actually flipped on theirs… luckily they weren’t seriously injured.

George loading the air rifle gun for our facilitator, Simon

Harder than it looks. There were teams spinning around in circles.

We didn’t get time to do the archery because my team decided to split up and “book” our spot – apparently that wasn’t allowed so another team came and took our place :(

The bucket challenge

Dinner that night was at the Shabeen. The decor was, once again, spectacular. The events planning company really out-done themselves.

A night of splendour, spontaneity, and surprise.

Delicious, decadent, delightful. Once again, I ate like a pig :/

The best thing about the Shabeen is that they are fully stocked on quartzes. Of course, some bright spark just had to suggest drinking from a wellington. The boot went around a fair bit before being discarded ;)

Right before core skills, I accidentally emailed everyone on the mailing list. So, the Bloem folks decided to have a bet to see who could find me first. There were only 3 Asian girls there so finding the right “Amy” wasn’t hard. At some point during the night, they all came up to me and asked for photos :p

We left at about midnight, got back to our rooms, and carried on drinking. By the time I crawled into bed, I was so exhausted that I immediately fell into a deep sleep.

(To be continued)

If you want to read about Day 1, click here: https://fearless714.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/core-skills-2/

Here’s the music video of the song we all grew to hate by the end of the week ;)

 

Core Skills 2

Every year, Ernst & Young brings together all the first year trainees from sub-Saharan Africa for a week of learning, partying and the making of unforgettable memories. It is the most anticipated event of the year with over 350 participants and 40 facilitators from over 10 African countries. Rumour has it that it cost EY millions to host this event and judging by the glamour, glory and grandeur of the week, I am not surprised. I have had the most amazing experience; it would be a crime not to share :)

I got the short stick of flying out at 5:45am on a chilly Sunday morning (while some of my colleagues flew on Saturday evening and stayed in a fancy hotel) – I was far too excited to be bogged down by the dreary travel arrangement. We were greeted by the breath-taking gates of Legend Golf & Safari Resort and had welcome drinks and a buffet lunch.

Entrance

How gorgeous is this view?

We were soon instructed to do a team building exercise where we had to find our group members and build a kaleidoscope. It was to help us “see the world differently” – a tad cheesy, but it was better than the clichéd: “Hi, my name is…”.

A picture is worth a thousand words. ’nuff said ;)

Dinner, Drinking, Dancing.

Supper for each evening was hosted at different locations. We were picked up by Mercedes Benz Vitos because the chalets were a good couple of kilometres away. Upon arrival, we were handed glasses of sherry to warm us up. We were lucky this year in that winter set in a week late and so we were able to dance in t-shirts. The decor was beyond expectation. The colours were rich and vibrant; the fires were warm and enchanting. The overall ambiance of the venues were superb.

There was an over abundance of delicious, tantalising food. I am ashamed to admit I porked out majorly. I literally stuffed myself with everything: chicken/lamb kebabs, potato wedges, assorted salads, prawn-thingies, mealies, and cheese-cake for dessert. I reckon I packed on 3 kgs this past week… oh well, c’est la vie.

I got back to my room at around 11pm – early, I know… but considering that I got up at 3:30am and had already danced for four hours, I was surprised I persevered that long. I shared a room with my friend Bianca, the coolest roomie ever! She managed to stuff a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine in her luggage, and carried her 21 kg bag all by herself. ;) Our rooms are pretty luxurious. We missed out on the underfloor heating (only certain chalets had those) but we comforted ourselves with our electric blankies <3

(To be continued)

Soliloquy

I often find myself in search of meaning.
In my increasingly irrational existence,
Knowing too much is a dangerous thing.
I fear I’ve succumbed to resistance.
If only ignorance can be disguised as bliss,
I would gladly spend my life unaware
of the many treasures and happiness
resting beyond my reach somewhere.

Instead, every morn I wake and face
a monotonous eight to five scene.
I wish I have the power to replace
the sun, moon, and all that’s in between.
Imagine in a parallel universe
where mistakes are few and petty;
I won’t be subject to loneliness’s curse
and misfortune is but a hyperbole.

It is time to put life under review
and reflect whether this is truly for me.
Am I strong enough to push through
the sorrow of this soliloquy?
Or will the Will fizzle and burn,
and see my efforts in vain –
lest fortune’s wheels never turn
once in my favour again.

(untitled)

When Optimism is diffused and Life is a mess
When the Spirit is dampened and the Soul is in distress
When Night conspires to keep Dawn out of reach
There will be no more vacations on the beach.

Rising bubbles of Suffocation in my chest
Up and down a rollercoaster nest
I try to seize Control – Control eludes me
Instead, it precipitates Insecurity.

Bad things happen, it is pointless to dwell
But Logic does not dictate what the Heart compels
This feeling of Sadness strongly overwhelms
If only I could escape to a magical realm

Where Reality is not compounded with Regret
Where the scales don’t tip to the side of Debt
Where I can see my reflection and smile
And for once, be happy, just for a little while.

You like me just the way I am

Movie night with the girls and we unanimously decided to rent Bridget Jone’s Diary, because, well – who wouldn’t want to re-watch a classic chick flick about a foreveralone.jpg girl with huge knickers and an adorable English accent? It’s been a while since I last watched it, and as each scene reeled in, I began to correlate bits of the film with my own life – and came to the conclusion that I was JUST like Bridget Jones, minus a few pounds. Oh, I neither smoke like a chimney nor drink like a fish but I DO have a crazy mother who, just over a year ago, gave me “permission” to start dating and is now hinting at a husband and babies. Wtf? (She happens to love pickles too.)

I go through these phases – they pretty much oscillate between “I’m no good with this, I’m such a loser” to “Something needs to be changed, I have to be better and make myself more marketable” back to “Fuck this, maybe it’s just not meant to be”. I often use poetry to channel these internal conflicts, much like Bridget and her diary. Except her writing is funnier but I get points for using couplets.

I can’t say I’ve ever fantasized about my boss, but I do pull off the short miniskirt remarkably well. I also have undies with cotton candy clouded patterns that are surprisingly comfy but probably not appropriate for date nights. Not that my dates ever reach that stage where it becomes relevant – so I guess I’m a less slutty version of Bridget Jones. Nevertheless, despite numerous failures, the attempt at finding a nice, sensible boyfriend continues – AND I HAVE A LIST TOO! In addition to not forming romantic attachments with “alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts”, I shall also endeavour to get myself a computer geek who’s funny, a good height, and English-speaking.

Have I mentioned I absolutely fail at cooking? I’ve never done something as bad as making BLUE SOUP but I did struggle to use a microwave at work last week – because that thing was bloody ancient! There wasn’t a numerical pad for me to punch in the time, only a “+10” button which I assumed meant “plus 10 seconds”, except the increments weren’t working. (The timer was frozen at 29 seconds and I wanted to warm my food for 2 minutes.) So, I called my friend who marched in, pushed the “start” button and marched off, before I could tell him that that wasn’t what I wanted to do! Now everyone on the team thinks I’m a dud Asian for not thinking to press Start. (Inb4made-in-China-jokes)

I know I’m pretty messed up in that I have “ridiculous” expectations (frankly I think they are quite reasonable), but these expectations are part of who I am and I’m not going to settle for anything short of a Mr Darcy: Someone who likes me just the way I am.

OH! Forgot to mention, I have this foot-in-mouth disease where I say things before they get filtered by the brain. I think it makes me more loveable, really.

Bad Luck, Worse Luck.

These past few weeks have been rather depressing. It feels like all the bad luck I’ve been accumulating since birth just exploded in my face. It all started with me losing my bag at Clifton. On the one hand, I should have been more careful; on the other hand I feel like I shouldn’t /have/ to be more careful. My absent-mindedness does not entitle people to exercise their kleptomaniac tendencies and the fact that it is such a common occurrence highlights one of the biggest drawbacks of living in an otherwise beautiful city.

Replacing all my keys was a bit of a bother. Luckily I managed to get everything sorted with the help of my friends :) I was a bit wary of blogging about losing my car keys because my overly-paranoid mind kept on thinking “What if the person was trolling the internet looking for someone who’d lost her keys at Moonstruck”? Dun dun dunn.

Soon after losing my keys, my glasses broke (due to a fault that’s not entirely my own). I spent ages looking for new frames on Saturday and couldn’t find any to my liking. The problem with Asian faces is that our noses are too flat to support the frames, so I always end up in one of two situations: 1) They sit so far down my nose that I look like a granny 2) They’re so close to my eyes that my eyelashes brush against the lenses. Sigh. I attempted to superglue the frames together but I have a sneaky suspicion that the lens is too big for the frame.

Last night, I thought I’d be a good domesticated girl and finish my ironing… and it ended up a rather holey experience. I don’t know how it happened, really. I was paying attention but alas, ironing (and house chores in general) is simply not my métier. I then spent a good quarter of an hour scraping the melted material off my iron -while it was still plugged in-. Probably not the best course of action… I blame Andy Pandy for the ill advice.