Countless times I’ve wished upon countless stars in shooting skies
Only to realise miracles are nothing but star-spangled lies
A constellation of tear drops form clouds in my heart
And when it rains, it rains blood to fill an empty quart

Tugging on heart strings like a puppet master on show
Toying with feelings, next, my clarity you stole
Here I am, alone, with just these words to console
Hoping they could rebuild the fallen and make it whole

Wondering, waiting, wavering
Tonight my resolve is slowly weakening
Tempted to shout, though the silence seeps through
To my dreams, and in them, I weep for you

Life goes on

I’m not sure when it all began
That pivotal moment of change
It’s pointless to try understand
A world so strange.

Fairy tales are not written for me
And failure comes at no surprise
I cannot defy the gravity
Of Love’s demise.

I look to others with a green-eyed envy
Wishing I too can be master of the Art
My dreams are rejected, instead I carry
A broken heart.

Alone and wary this warm October eve
I glance up but there’s no star to wish upon
My inside is crushing, still, I make-believe
that life goes on

Parents don’t always know best

I get into a lot of arguments with my parents and majority of them end like this:

“You’re so young and inexperienced, blah blah, wait until you’re grown up.” or,

“Don’t be so naive. We KNOW what’s best for you.”

Except they don’t. Despite every attempt at trying to give me the best, despite every effort at wanting the best, they don’t always succeed.

Last week, I lost my parking bay to another tenant. No biggie because there’s parking off street. But no, my parents decided to go and make a “reserved” sign and plonk it on the lawn in front of an unreserved bay. (The complex has a few unreserved bays which work on a first come first serve basis.)

Their rationale was that “602 did it so why can’t we?” – Hmm, let’s see. Maybe “602” organised it with the body corporate? Just a thought.

NO MATTER! Mom said she spoke to the security guard downstairs and he said it’s “finnnneeee”. – Because the security guard knows it all…

So, while at work, I got an sms from my dad to say he plonked the sign next to “602”‘s. TWO HOURS LATER, I got another sms from my dad to say someone removed the sign. – Well, that didn’t take long, did it?

Now I have this useless piece of wood/metal sitting arbly in the corridor.


Surprise and disappointment

If you know me at all you’d know I’m a sucker for free things. Save for a few horribly inhumane things, there is very little I wouldn’t do for freebies. There is just something about them that escalates my utility to disproportionally high places.

Last week I got a collection slip in my mail. I had no idea what it could be as I hadn’t ordered anything and was a bit short on pen-pals. Nevertheless, I was hoping for something grand.

I made my way to the post office yesterday and eagerly awaited my package… The lady came back with a padded envelope. It was big enough to hold nice things, so I remained hopeful. On opening it I saw:

1) an old instruction manual for a microwave
2) spare keys
3) letter with bad handwriting

Turned out my friend Ash (who lived in my flat before me) was going through old boxes and thought the items mentioned above might be useful to me. Never mind that I changed the locks in March last year and had been using the microwave without trouble for almost 2 years.

But thank you, Ash. For the disappointment. It was sweet of you.

The List

I have a list. A list of all the qualities I look for in a boyfriend. In recent months, I’ve compromised it quite a bit. I got sick of people accusing me of being picky and decided to take on a “why not?” approach. They all start off great. Full of promise. But sooner or later, the happiness fades and I am painfully reminded of why I have a list in the first place.

It’s not enough to have love and passion. They fuel the beginning but it is dedication and compatibility that carry a relationship through. Take the cater-waiter for example. Sure, he was good looking but it didn’t take me long to realize we had nothing in common. He had no ambition, no future career prospects. He spoke about music and art, of which I had little interest. His most recent achievement was getting the best waiter award at his catering company. Lesson #1: It’s not about looks. He must be nerdy.

Then there was the smoker. He never lit up in my presence but the stench remained. Kissing a smoker was not pleasant… especially a plus-sized one. While it was purely a lifestyle choice and not a reflection on the caliber of the individual, I do feel quite strongly about taking care of one’s health. Lesson #2: Non-smokers only. Flabby bits are discouraged too.

The most recent one was the closest to the list, yet he was also the furthest. Driving 40km to see him was a mission and eventually it dwindled down to meeting once every 2 or 3 weeks. Having someone I can’t be with is worse than not having anyone at all. Lesson #3: Must live within a 20km radius and be willing to spend time with me.

The next person who teases me about my list will be ignored. It’s there for a reason and I should have stuck to it from the beginning.

Core Skills 2 – Sports Evening

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to finish documenting the awesomeness that was CS II; oh well, better late than never :)

Four days into our amazing adventure and more people have started showing signs of a sore throat and a runny nose. I managed to procure some meds and was determined to tough it our despite the fact that my body desperately craved detox and rest. Lectures finished early and we were given the afternoon to ourselves. What a treat!

Seeing as it was a ‘sport’ themed day, two lovely ladies from the Cape Town office (Jess and Natalie) thought it would be rad to make us t-shirts. They ran the whole thing from start to finish; from buying and painting the shirts to handing them out at breakfast… Their efforts got them the Chairman’s Values award and it was absolutely well deserved. We got to piggy-back on their creativeness and looked dashing in our matching EY shirts ;)


After lunch, everyone made their way to Fields of Legend, where the organisers have set up various activities, from obstacle courses to human foosball. Oh, and the winning team from the previous two days’ games got to go on a much desired helicopter flip. I was a little green with envy :p


There was also a photobooth set up at the dinner venue. Being a sucker for poses, I just *had* to queue for the snap shots.

P.S. Did I mention I also went on a Big Five game drive? ;)

You like me just the way I am

Movie night with the girls and we unanimously decided to rent Bridget Jone’s Diary, because, well – who wouldn’t want to re-watch a classic chick flick about a foreveralone.jpg girl with huge knickers and an adorable English accent? It’s been a while since I last watched it, and as each scene reeled in, I began to correlate bits of the film with my own life – and came to the conclusion that I was JUST like Bridget Jones, minus a few pounds. Oh, I neither smoke like a chimney nor drink like a fish but I DO have a crazy mother who, just over a year ago, gave me “permission” to start dating and is now hinting at a husband and babies. Wtf? (She happens to love pickles too.)

I go through these phases – they pretty much oscillate between “I’m no good with this, I’m such a loser” to “Something needs to be changed, I have to be better and make myself more marketable” back to “Fuck this, maybe it’s just not meant to be”. I often use poetry to channel these internal conflicts, much like Bridget and her diary. Except her writing is funnier but I get points for using couplets.

I can’t say I’ve ever fantasized about my boss, but I do pull off the short miniskirt remarkably well. I also have undies with cotton candy clouded patterns that are surprisingly comfy but probably not appropriate for date nights. Not that my dates ever reach that stage where it becomes relevant – so I guess I’m a less slutty version of Bridget Jones. Nevertheless, despite numerous failures, the attempt at finding a nice, sensible boyfriend continues – AND I HAVE A LIST TOO! In addition to not forming romantic attachments with “alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts”, I shall also endeavour to get myself a computer geek who’s funny, a good height, and English-speaking.

Have I mentioned I absolutely fail at cooking? I’ve never done something as bad as making BLUE SOUP but I did struggle to use a microwave at work last week – because that thing was bloody ancient! There wasn’t a numerical pad for me to punch in the time, only a “+10” button which I assumed meant “plus 10 seconds”, except the increments weren’t working. (The timer was frozen at 29 seconds and I wanted to warm my food for 2 minutes.) So, I called my friend who marched in, pushed the “start” button and marched off, before I could tell him that that wasn’t what I wanted to do! Now everyone on the team thinks I’m a dud Asian for not thinking to press Start. (Inb4made-in-China-jokes)

I know I’m pretty messed up in that I have “ridiculous” expectations (frankly I think they are quite reasonable), but these expectations are part of who I am and I’m not going to settle for anything short of a Mr Darcy: Someone who likes me just the way I am.

OH! Forgot to mention, I have this foot-in-mouth disease where I say things before they get filtered by the brain. I think it makes me more loveable, really.