If you know me at all you’d know I’m a sucker for free things. Save for a few horribly inhumane things, there is very little I wouldn’t do for freebies. There is just something about them that escalates my utility to disproportionally high places.

Last week I got a collection slip in my mail. I had no idea what it could be as I hadn’t ordered anything and was a bit short on pen-pals. Nevertheless, I was hoping for something grand.

I made my way to the post office yesterday and eagerly awaited my package… The lady came back with a padded envelope. It was big enough to hold nice things, so I remained hopeful. On opening it I saw:

1) an old instruction manual for a microwave
2) spare keys
3) letter with bad handwriting

Turned out my friend Ash (who lived in my flat before me) was going through old boxes and thought the items mentioned above might be useful to me. Never mind that I changed the locks in March last year and had been using the microwave without trouble for almost 2 years.

But thank you, Ash. For the disappointment. It was sweet of you.