Throughout my 19 years, 11 months and 5 days of existence, I have always taken certain privileges for granted.  Not having to cook is one of them.  Today, in an earnest attempt to break away from my dependence on others, I decided to try making some popcorn – I have seen it done a couple of times.  How hard could it possibly be?

I turned on the stove and watched 2 spoonfuls of butter melt into a yellow pool of grease.  Next, I opened a packet of Pick n Pay No-name Popcorn.  But in my haste, nearly half a packet of mealies went in the pot before I could regain control, while another couple of handfuls fell to the floor.  I did not expect such slipperiness from a bunch of corn-crusted seedlings.  How dare they create such a cumbersome mess for me to clean up?!?!!

Never mind.  There was no use crying over spilt milk, or so the saying goes.  My spirits rose a little when I heard the first ‘pop’, but it soon took a dive when a burning smell ensued.  The fluffy white miniature puffs suddenly went FUBAR (f—–d up beyond all recognition).

burnt

After some thorough investigation, I came up with a couple of causes pertaining to the popcorn disaster.

1. The stove was on maximum temperature.  (In my defence, I have never even used that thing.  Ignorance gets the blame here.)
2. Too little butter and too much corn.  (I need to work on the golden ratio a bit more, but guesstimating 0.618 isn’t easy I tell ya!)

Needless to say, my attempt at domestication failed, but hopefully everything will run smoother next time.